It's not about the bike

Injured? Who me? Well, yes, I was injured and, yes, I had a TBI. A pretty good one, too. At least that is what I'm told. You see, I do not remember the early days of my injury immediately following the crash very well. But I do remember the day that it happened. In detail. And I can recall many things about my recovery and convalescance. Really recall things. Not just remember thoughts that were "suggested".

It is coming up on the one-year mark since I went down. Regrets? Heck no! No looking back for me. Sorrow? Just for the pain and uncertainty that I had subject my family to. Concerns? Sure, but no more than I had before my crash: job, career, children, fitness, the economy (I am in the car business, pray for me!). And how long can I remain competitive in cycling?

I have come to accept that I am different in some ways than I was BC (before concussion). I am quick to become frustrated and I know I have been a bear to live with. But not all of it is negative. I am more aware of my surroundings, more concerned with others, more focused, more driven, and more grateful to be waking to another day. Still, it is easy for me to be complacent, to wait for things to "happen" to me instead of taking the initiative and making things happen. I am still a "do-er". I may not have the fitness level that I had before, but I am still more fit than most guys my age. And a few that are younger than I. The fitness will come back. With work and perseverance, that is.

As far as my intellectual ability, I do well. I have always believed that the day you stop learning is the day you start dying. I know now that can still learn new things. I am working out my brain "muscles" just as I am my arm and leg muscles. I am planning to take piano lessons, want to learn another language, becoming a Sudoku black belt, and want to keep up on my writing. I find that I have to compensate now, like using my Palm to create a "to do" list and keeping a journal.

So, yes, I was injured. That was then, this is now. I will keep on contributing and challenging myself. And helping others. And competing.

It is the only way that I know to live life.