Injured? Who me? Well, yes, I was injured and, yes, I had a TBI. A pretty good one, too. At least that is what I'm told. You see, I do not remember the early days of my injury immediately following the crash very well. But I do remember the day that it happened. In detail. And I can recall many things about my recovery and convalescance. Really recall things. Not just remember thoughts that were "suggested".
It is coming up on the one-year mark since I went down. Regrets? Heck no! No looking back for me. Sorrow? Just for the pain and uncertainty that I had subject my family to. Concerns? Sure, but no more than I had before my crash: job, career, children, fitness, the economy (I am in the car business, pray for me!). And how long can I remain competitive in cycling?
I have come to accept that I am different in some ways than I was BC (before concussion). I am quick to become frustrated and I know I have been a bear to live with. But not all of it is negative. I am more aware of my surroundings, more concerned with others, more focused, more driven, and more grateful to be waking to another day. Still, it is easy for me to be complacent, to wait for things to "happen" to me instead of taking the initiative and making things happen. I am still a "do-er". I may not have the fitness level that I had before, but I am still more fit than most guys my age. And a few that are younger than I. The fitness will come back. With work and perseverance, that is.
As far as my intellectual ability, I do well. I have always believed that the day you stop learning is the day you start dying. I know now that can still learn new things. I am working out my brain "muscles" just as I am my arm and leg muscles. I am planning to take piano lessons, want to learn another language, becoming a Sudoku black belt, and want to keep up on my writing. I find that I have to compensate now, like using my Palm to create a "to do" list and keeping a journal.
So, yes, I was injured. That was then, this is now. I will keep on contributing and challenging myself. And helping others. And competing.
It is the only way that I know to live life.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Training for the Worlds
Did two nice road rides this weekend.
The first one was with the local Irvine club riders. It was 40 miles at a decent pace. Unfortunately, the riders that morning were a mixed bag as it relates to riding experience. All were pleasant company. We were riding in a paceline and the rider in front of me failed to make me aware of a hunk of debris in the road. I hit it squarely with both my front AND rear tires. I recently built up a new set of rims with DT Swiss RR 1.2 semi-aero rims mated to American Classic hubs with DT Swiss Aerolite spokes. Not uber-light, but tough as all get out! I converted them to tubeless using Stan's yellow sealing tape and the Hutchinson Road Tubeless tires performed flawlessly! The resulting impact caused no rim damage and no flats. But I did lose a Polar insulated water bottle that bounced out. Bummer.
Sunday's ride was a solo outing. Down Irvine Boulevard past the El Toro Marine Base, up Bake, up Glenn Ranch and up the Saddleback Ranch long grind to Santiago Canyon Road. A nice 40 mile loop with some decent climbs. This route had been one of my regular training loops, until last August that is. You see, this ride took me past where I had my run-in with that passing truck. Not that I had a fear, it just brought back a bunch of emotions. As I rode past the spot where I was hit, I decided to make it official: it is now in the past and it's now just another place where I ride. Why fret about what I cannot change? Just keep working on what I can affect: my endurance and my fitness.
This week I am in Jackson MS and in the gym every day (ugh!). Tapering for Saturday's 12-hour race. I can't wait to get home for my first real race in nearly a year.
The first one was with the local Irvine club riders. It was 40 miles at a decent pace. Unfortunately, the riders that morning were a mixed bag as it relates to riding experience. All were pleasant company. We were riding in a paceline and the rider in front of me failed to make me aware of a hunk of debris in the road. I hit it squarely with both my front AND rear tires. I recently built up a new set of rims with DT Swiss RR 1.2 semi-aero rims mated to American Classic hubs with DT Swiss Aerolite spokes. Not uber-light, but tough as all get out! I converted them to tubeless using Stan's yellow sealing tape and the Hutchinson Road Tubeless tires performed flawlessly! The resulting impact caused no rim damage and no flats. But I did lose a Polar insulated water bottle that bounced out. Bummer.
Sunday's ride was a solo outing. Down Irvine Boulevard past the El Toro Marine Base, up Bake, up Glenn Ranch and up the Saddleback Ranch long grind to Santiago Canyon Road. A nice 40 mile loop with some decent climbs. This route had been one of my regular training loops, until last August that is. You see, this ride took me past where I had my run-in with that passing truck. Not that I had a fear, it just brought back a bunch of emotions. As I rode past the spot where I was hit, I decided to make it official: it is now in the past and it's now just another place where I ride. Why fret about what I cannot change? Just keep working on what I can affect: my endurance and my fitness.
This week I am in Jackson MS and in the gym every day (ugh!). Tapering for Saturday's 12-hour race. I can't wait to get home for my first real race in nearly a year.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
SHARE Poker Ride
Just got back from the SHARE MTB Poker Ride. It is a fund-raiser for the group. SHARE is one of the most active local clubs when it comes to trail maintenance chores.
The ride wound around El Moro/Laguna Coast/Crystal Cove on many of the trails that I ride for training. It was nice to take it at a "reasonable" clip this morning.
As part of my new philosophy, I signed on with SHARE. It is time to give back. While I do several stints each year as a volunteer for various clubs and groups, SHARE was a group that I always wanted to join. I have raced with and competed against many of their members. Good guys.
I'll check the Garmin, but we did about 16 miles with about 2,500 ft. of elevation gain.
There was a time that I was the first one up the hill and regularly circled back and did the climb a second time with the slower riders. This experience has been humbling in many ways since I am no longer the first one to the summit.
Not yet, at least.
The ride wound around El Moro/Laguna Coast/Crystal Cove on many of the trails that I ride for training. It was nice to take it at a "reasonable" clip this morning.
As part of my new philosophy, I signed on with SHARE. It is time to give back. While I do several stints each year as a volunteer for various clubs and groups, SHARE was a group that I always wanted to join. I have raced with and competed against many of their members. Good guys.
I'll check the Garmin, but we did about 16 miles with about 2,500 ft. of elevation gain.
There was a time that I was the first one up the hill and regularly circled back and did the climb a second time with the slower riders. This experience has been humbling in many ways since I am no longer the first one to the summit.
Not yet, at least.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Back on the bike
During my recovery, I was told by the MDs that I needed to be cautious for a while since another concussion would be a "bad thing" so soon after my accident. The medical folks said that I should stay off the bike for about 6 months to a year! That would mean no riding until August 2009 or, best case, until February!
Over the Christmas holidays, I decided to give myself a present. With a garage full of road and mountain bikes that had been calling to me every time I walked by, I finally gave in and took my first real bike ride on December 27, 2008. I got the hardtail out, trued the wheels, added some Stan's sealant to the tires, lubed the chain, and took my first real ride since 8/9/08 when I got punched out by that truck mirror. I jumped every curb on the neighborhood circle route I could find and even did a short trackstand.
I must have looked like a real geek with my running shoes and jeans, but it was the best ride I have ever taken! It brought back memories of my first 2-wheel bike ride down the sidewalks of Brooklyn on E14th Street with my dad running behind me.
Every day I would venture farther from home and started to ride my old training route. I added more miles every day and have worked my way up to 60 miles. While this sounds great, I still have a lot of training to do before I am race-ready again.
You really need to listen to yourself and weigh all of the "advice" and recommendations you receive. Here's a sampling of what I heard in the past six months:
Over the Christmas holidays, I decided to give myself a present. With a garage full of road and mountain bikes that had been calling to me every time I walked by, I finally gave in and took my first real bike ride on December 27, 2008. I got the hardtail out, trued the wheels, added some Stan's sealant to the tires, lubed the chain, and took my first real ride since 8/9/08 when I got punched out by that truck mirror. I jumped every curb on the neighborhood circle route I could find and even did a short trackstand.
I must have looked like a real geek with my running shoes and jeans, but it was the best ride I have ever taken! It brought back memories of my first 2-wheel bike ride down the sidewalks of Brooklyn on E14th Street with my dad running behind me.
Every day I would venture farther from home and started to ride my old training route. I added more miles every day and have worked my way up to 60 miles. While this sounds great, I still have a lot of training to do before I am race-ready again.
You really need to listen to yourself and weigh all of the "advice" and recommendations you receive. Here's a sampling of what I heard in the past six months:
- I would never ride a bike again.
- I will fatigue easily. Therefore, I will need to look for another sport since endurance racing is out.
- My balance will be crappy.
- My racing days are over.
Endurance racers know how to keep our bodies going when our minds say "STOP!" This has been a tremendous help to me as I go through this funky ordeal. It takes a lot to stop me. I can keep going even when I am tired.
My next challenge: fighting off the munchies. Right after my ordeal, I lost some weight but it looks like have gained about 5 lbs. of baby fat. This is not uncommon in the winter months after the race season ends but I am usually in race shape by now. I can't pass up a cookie. While I still eat healthy, I find that my appetite is tough to satisfy. Next test: lose the weight before July 1.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Welcome!
First, about the name.
8/9/08 was the day that my world was rocked. I was doing a 55-mile training ride in preparation for an up-coming 24-hour mountain bike race with a friend (more about my riding "habit" later). We met that morning at my house and rode to Sierra Peak in the Santa Anas. We combined some road riding and dirt trails on the way there. It was going to be a five to six hour hard effort.
The ride was mostly uneventful. I was on my Giant XTC-2 hardtail. It was a good push. During our descent to Blackstar Canyon Road, partner Tim ran out of water. We still had about seven or eight miles togo so I was doing a recon for water as we headed back.
As we passed Irvine Lake, a local fishing spot, I glanced at the entrance to see if there were any sources of water. Seeing none, I quickly returned my focus to the bike lane and saw a gray pickup literally about a foot away. I saw the right front fender pass dangerously close... and then nothing.
Three days later, I awoke in the Western Medical Center Neurological Intensive Care Unit surrounded by the doctors, nurses, my wife and my family. I never got this much attention on the podium after a race! Apparently my accident had caused a subdural hematoma with diffuse axonal injury, commonly referred to as a Traumatic Brain Injury. In more simple terms, I had a severe concussion with bleeding and some swelling.
I was connected to an IV drip, oxygen, and to several sensors monitoring my condition. Being the rebel that I am, I ripped all of the leads out. This move was not received well by the hospital staff.
My speech was slow and deliberate as I struggled to find the correct words. As soon as I was conscious and able to respond, a physical therapist had me up and working out on a stationary bike. During my first bike "interval", my wife, Mary Ann, and the therapist were at my side. My vision was blurry and I started blindly pushing buttons on the exercise cycle. The therapist looked at my wife, wondering what I was doing. Mary Ann had seen me on a LifeCycle before and knew exactly what I was doing: I was inceasing the resistance. She then called me a "Show off!" Head bump or not, if I am going to be bored out of my mind on a stationary bike, I wanted to make it worth my while.
The past several months have been a trip! I am back on the bike and I am training for my next race. I wanted to share my story and my experiences.
This will be my first race since 8908.
8/9/08 was the day that my world was rocked. I was doing a 55-mile training ride in preparation for an up-coming 24-hour mountain bike race with a friend (more about my riding "habit" later). We met that morning at my house and rode to Sierra Peak in the Santa Anas. We combined some road riding and dirt trails on the way there. It was going to be a five to six hour hard effort.
The ride was mostly uneventful. I was on my Giant XTC-2 hardtail. It was a good push. During our descent to Blackstar Canyon Road, partner Tim ran out of water. We still had about seven or eight miles togo so I was doing a recon for water as we headed back.
As we passed Irvine Lake, a local fishing spot, I glanced at the entrance to see if there were any sources of water. Seeing none, I quickly returned my focus to the bike lane and saw a gray pickup literally about a foot away. I saw the right front fender pass dangerously close... and then nothing.
Three days later, I awoke in the Western Medical Center Neurological Intensive Care Unit surrounded by the doctors, nurses, my wife and my family. I never got this much attention on the podium after a race! Apparently my accident had caused a subdural hematoma with diffuse axonal injury, commonly referred to as a Traumatic Brain Injury. In more simple terms, I had a severe concussion with bleeding and some swelling.
I was connected to an IV drip, oxygen, and to several sensors monitoring my condition. Being the rebel that I am, I ripped all of the leads out. This move was not received well by the hospital staff.
My speech was slow and deliberate as I struggled to find the correct words. As soon as I was conscious and able to respond, a physical therapist had me up and working out on a stationary bike. During my first bike "interval", my wife, Mary Ann, and the therapist were at my side. My vision was blurry and I started blindly pushing buttons on the exercise cycle. The therapist looked at my wife, wondering what I was doing. Mary Ann had seen me on a LifeCycle before and knew exactly what I was doing: I was inceasing the resistance. She then called me a "Show off!" Head bump or not, if I am going to be bored out of my mind on a stationary bike, I wanted to make it worth my while.
The past several months have been a trip! I am back on the bike and I am training for my next race. I wanted to share my story and my experiences.
This will be my first race since 8908.
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